TommySmeltzer.Blog

Blogging? Really?

2009-05-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, so remember a couple years ago when I said I would do better at blogging regularly? Well that turned out to be pure fantasy. Oh sure, I could point to all kinds of other distractions such as Myspace, then Facebook, then Twitter; all of which consumed inordinate amounts of my time. That was time I might have spent blogging here I guess. But when I really sit down and think about it, the truth is I just don't have that much to say.

Anyone who knows me would have a hard time believing that last statement. I have lots to say. All the time. I can talk and talk and talk. But when it comes time to commit something to the internet, I sorta freeze up. Maybe it's the semi-permanence of it. Maybe it's the public release aspect. I can't be too catty about something if I'm worried one person might read it and be offended.

Then there's the nature of the printed word. Stuff can slip out of your mouth that doesn't seem so bad or noticable in the flow of conversation, but put it in print and you've created a world of opportunity for misinterpretation. As a side note, I wonder if ancient Egyptians ever regretted something they carved into stone? Anyway...

Then there's the readership issue. I initially thought this might be a nice way to keep my family updated with my little adventures, but email works just fine for that. A blog seems a little presumptious for someone unfamous like myself, and yet I could become a public person and then overly personal blogs would be a little too much information all of a sudden.

Why am I typing this then? Well I guess it's a pride thing. Let's say, you run accross me somewhere and try to look me up. You go to my web page, which I can't seem to alter since my web guy quit being a web guy. And let's say you click on the "blog" link and arrive here. I don' t want to seem entirely lame. I want my last blog post to be at least within the last two years.

So there. You found my blog. I have nothing to say.... unless you get cornered by me at a party. Then you will surely get a world of a boatload of an ear full.

Blowhole Bob

2007-03-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

Back in January I shot a commercial for new Chocolate Dipped Altoids. Anytime an actor books work it's a good thing, but this was an especially sweet gig because, well here's the thing... I got to have a blowhole.

You know, just like Flipper or Shamu.

I felt good about it from the moment I read the breakdown: "bitchy effeminate male receptionist with a blowhole" --Oh how many times have I longed to play that part! When I walked out of the callback, my gut told me that this gig was mine. Then again, my gut very incorrectly said this after 780 auditions previous. So when my agent called to say my gut was finally right about something, my tummy felt vindicated. Then he told me I would be going to Stan Winston Studio to have my head glopped in silicone and plaster. Cool!

The studio and the artists working there were beyond cool. You must understand that Stan Winston is a bigtime Hollywood special effects house. The main conference room is packed with original pieces of cinematic history such as Jurassic Park Dinosaurs and the Terminator. There were amazing sites at every turn like the pig from Charlotte's Web and a case full of nothing but monster eyeballs. My son really had to see this. They kindly offered to give him a limited tour.
When I returned with eleven-year-old in tow, my new best friend Paul very graciously gave up his lunch hour to show my boy the inner workings of animatronic pigs and velociraptors. Then out of nowhere a project manager came in with breaking news that needed to shave my head and make a new mold. Nathan was overjoyed to watch his old man go under the glop.

I won't give away anymore behind the scenes secrets. Suffice to say a lot of work went into making me cetaceous. The shoot was a lot of fun and I had about 240 sips of coffee while doing it so I was pretty fired up on my way home. Then nothing. I didn't hear a peep about it for months. Finally, a few days ago I started Googling around and discovered it's making rounds on various video websites. Apparently it's been "leaked" to a few million advertising types who take great pleasure in saying how they would have done it better. However reviews seem to be good. Heck, if you can even get people talking about a commercial it's a good sign. This spot (and the other three done at the same time) are certainly weird and funny enough to get a buzz going. Let me know what you think.

Check out the other three spots in the campaign: "Australian Double Back, "Banana Hands, and "Half Deer Edwards

The Real First Post

2005-05-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so that other 'first post' was really my friend Corry Smith, who set up this blog for me well over a month ago. That was when I was feeling it desperately urgent that I have a blog. Then I realized I really didn't have that much to say. Then some stuff happened and I had a lot to say, but I was so busy with the stuff that was happening that I didn't have time to write in my new blog. Now not so much is happening again and I'm ready to write about the stuff that did happen back when I was so busy but it's late and I'm tired.

Let this be a teaser for you. I can now be heard every weekday on MSNBC, I went to Rome to shoot a commercial I never auditioned for and I was twenty people away from being in a scene with Jodie Foster.

Stay tuned for the gory details.

-T

There has never been a first test post quite like this.

2005-04-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

They're like snowflakes, you know. Watch this space for more bloggable goodness.